There was a specific reason that I sought to teach seminary three years ago. This time, it feels like I've reached my expiry date---which is strange because I still want to teach seminary. Could it be possible that it really is time to quit even if I don't want to? I am in a quandary. It just feels different.
BYU-Hawaii actually took the amazing task of searching me out to encourage me to finish my degree. Whilst on holiday in Hawaii, a friend contacted me and told me that someone from BYU-H had asked about me to see if I would be willing to talk about finishing my degree. COINCIDENTALLY, I just happened to be right on campus when that chit-chat took place. Coincidence? No. It's divine synchronicity! After meeting with the appropriate people, I ended up with a class schedule and a plan. But I will have to speed it up if I want to finish quickly. So...do I have the time and energy to take these classes AND teach seminary? My plan is to try and do it all. But it's scary because I don't want to risk being a crappy teacher or a crappy student. And I don't know what I am capable of doing. It's been decades since I was a student and so many things have changed. I mean, the periodic table of the elements doesn't even look the same as the last time I cracked a chemistry book! And to make matters worse, I can't even remember names of people! I mean, I can give you a list of miscellaneous facts about the person but I wouldn't be able to tell you the name! Is that a confidence booster....or loser? Is that scary or what?
Anyway, I am so overwhelmed.
2 comments:
I think it's great you're going to go back to finish your degree. I am planning to do the same here as soon as I can. I read an Ensign article a few months ago that actually discussed the difficulties of adults going back to school after many, many years. It said that it was common to feel at a disadvantage with so many tech-savvy, young, able-bodies, quick-minded students in their early twenties. But the article said that what we lack in speed and energy, we gain in wisdom and experience. (And even though I'm sure you're thinking that I am still youngish...I'm now in my mid-thirties with four kids and I am exhausted, slow-minded, forgetful, and I have been extremely scatterbrained and forgetful. The thought of going back to school terrifies me...but I think it comes back after a bit. You know what they say...the mind is a muscle. You just have to exercise it. Right? Sorry this is so long! Good luck!
(Oh...and you gotta go with strong feelingg, I truly believe that...I'm referring to teaching seminary, here.)
Thanks for your thoughtful comment Fletchie Baby! Anyhoo, Jen, I am not intimidated at all by technology bec I am very tech savvy and keep up with the best of them. But when you get old, you tend to take grades personally. And also, you feel like you don't have the right to make mistakes. Crazy. But I'll get over it. Ha!
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