It's been a most challenging week. After the kids left last Sunday, I began to feel really sick and eventually, my right ear, jaw, neck and head began to hurt plus a low grade fever began to ensue together with a feeling of malaise. Yep. Ear infection plus flu. The interesting thing is I had this exact same malady 13 months ago to the day! Photo above of my 13 month old medication is clear evidence. Soon after I began taking antibiotics, I started feeling better, fever gone, achy body gone.... but then came the vertigo---just like it happened same time last year when my doctor gave me a prescription for antivert (meclizine). I couldn't take the stupid pill anyway because it just replaced my vertigo with nausea. It is very obvious to me that my immune system just sinks to its lowest after the winter holidays. It is also obvious to me that it is during Christmas that I direly MISS having maids, cooks and drivers who can clean up after everybody.
Gosh, golly, gee. I long for those days when I didn't have to worry about laundry. I have a MOUNTAIN of laundry. My laundry chute couldn't even hold its contents and everything spilled on the laundry room floor. I never had to worry about hanging towels or changing sheets. The maids did all that. I miss having a cook who will take care of every meal. All I had to do was figure out the menu and send her to market. I miss lounging around after meals with family and not worrying a thing about the kitchen. Dishes would be washed and put away and food put back in the fridge. I wish I didn't have to put groceries away after I shop or unload them from the car. Maid or drivers did that for me. And I wish I didn't have to feel guilty and anxious about being sick because laundry just keeps on piling and no one gets a decent meal---not to mention housework just piles up. Then I get depressed and annoyed about being sick. And did I mention guilty? So I can't get better because my emotional state is just whacked out around the moon and back. Last year, it took me nearly 3 weeks just to get feeling normal again. Today marks day 6. I have a long road ahead. I suddenly feel old and decrepit.
Gosh, golly, gee. I long for those days when I didn't have to worry about laundry. I have a MOUNTAIN of laundry. My laundry chute couldn't even hold its contents and everything spilled on the laundry room floor. I never had to worry about hanging towels or changing sheets. The maids did all that. I miss having a cook who will take care of every meal. All I had to do was figure out the menu and send her to market. I miss lounging around after meals with family and not worrying a thing about the kitchen. Dishes would be washed and put away and food put back in the fridge. I wish I didn't have to put groceries away after I shop or unload them from the car. Maid or drivers did that for me. And I wish I didn't have to feel guilty and anxious about being sick because laundry just keeps on piling and no one gets a decent meal---not to mention housework just piles up. Then I get depressed and annoyed about being sick. And did I mention guilty? So I can't get better because my emotional state is just whacked out around the moon and back. Last year, it took me nearly 3 weeks just to get feeling normal again. Today marks day 6. I have a long road ahead. I suddenly feel old and decrepit.
Living in America sucks sometimes. OK. I know I am having a bad day right now. But it's true and the only reason is because I can't have maids and a staff to help me with housework. I hate housework. I hate cooking. I hate cleaning. I hate laundry. I hate picking up. I hate it. It's the 13th of January and I am just now removing the ornaments from the Christmas tree. And I have tons to pack and put away. Why can't I have a maid to do that for me? And I need a tall glass of kalamansi juice. Why can't I have a maid to fix me one? I hate to vacuum. I hate doing dishes. I hate being a housefrau. And no one is going to convince me that doing housework is noble. All it does is keep me from executing all the creative things I want to do because if I attempt to do what I want to do, my guilt about housework shuts me down. When Hannah goes to college, I am going back to work full-time so I can hire an assistant, dang it.
Now that that's off my chest, I feel better already.
Below is how I feel.
Now that that's off my chest, I feel better already.
Below is how I feel.
