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| Can you believe?? |
So last Saturday, an old friend suddenly calls late at night. She wants to drop by to see my house. Of course, I'm very excited to see her! So she let me talk to the owner of the house they were staying at and I find out that she is only a 10 minute drive from me. GREAT! So I try to give this friend of hers some directions. Here's a little excerpt of our conversation.
Her: Heel-loh. Yees. Wir ees yur hawes?
Me: It's on Pecos and Warm Springs. I'm so close to you.
Her: Ay. Pee-koos. Yah. Yah. Yah. And warm eespreengs. So, ip I goo oon PEEKOOS, wir ees ur hawse? What ees ur ahd-drees?
Me: It's Pheasant Ridge Drive.
Her: Ay. Pee-sant?
Me: (pause) Pheasant. P as in Paul, H as in Harry. Pheasant like....the bird. Ibon baga.
Her: Ah yah. Pee-sant Ridge?
Me: Hindi. (I aspirate my "ph" to distinguish between pheasant and peasant) PHEASANT RIDGE DRIVE. As in, the "bird", you know, pheasant. NOT 'peasant'. (I did not know how else to explain this....so I tried to spell it again....) P as in Philippines, H as in Heavenly.
Her: Oo. Yah. Cree-sent Ridge.
Me: No, not Crescent Ridge, PHEASANT RIDGE. (I am getting annoyed.)
Her: Oo. Pee-sant. Sige. Wee weel paynd it.
Me: (Exasperated) Just tell them to call me when they're in the area. I am only a 10 minute drive. Tatlo o apat na liko lang. (Only 3 or 4 turns.)
************ONE HOUR LATER***********
My cell phone rings. It's my friend. They are on their way to the adjacent city---another city outside the city where I live. I am exhausted. It's late. And I have a deadline to meet. I quickly give them more directions and ask them to call me when they are in the vicinity... They call again. They are now just a street away so I stay on the phone until they find the main street that leads to my house. They are now at the gate. I ask her to hang up her cell phone and call my house on the gate phone so I can buzz the gate open. I wait 10 minutes. I am now alarmed. It does not take that long to ring my house from the gate. The gate phone is just a simple phone! Finally, the phone rings and my daughter buzzes the gate open and I run out the driveway to meet them. They dismiss my instructions and drive straight through instead of turning left where my house is. I see their car driving straight through. Now they will have to drive the loop around. I wait for the car to make the loop. They finally see me. They arrive. I am exhausted. After greeting them, the driver tells me that there must be TWO gates. I say, no, there is only ONE gate and I point to the gate. I am only three houses down from the gate. He looks absolutely perplexed.
Him: No. That's not the gate where we came from.
Me: It most certainly is!
Him: Noooo. That's not the gate we came from. We came in through the other gate.
Me: Believe me---THAT'S the gate you came from.
Him: (looking confused and pointing towards the direction they came from...) But we came from that direction. Isn't there a second gate that way?
Me: No. You made a complete loop around. (I point again to the gate they came in from....) That is the ONLY gate. That's the gate you entered.
Him: Ah.....I thought there were two gates.
Me: (speechless now....)
I decide that the conversation is not going anywhere so I leave it at that. I am dumbfounded.
I asked them what the confusion was. They said that they tried to google my address. They claim that the direction they got was completely different from mine. So they tried to type it again and each time got ANOTHER set of directions. They claim that my street is probably not on the map yet. I am incredulous. I am now really annoyed. I tell them that of course, my street is on the map! I ask them what street they typed on the search line. Oh yeah: CRESCENT Ridge Drive.
U.P. High graduates. Good grief.
