THE QUESTION I AM OFTEN ASKEDI am often asked how my children turned out to be so kind and self-assured. I've thought about this question and though it is so frequently asked of me, I seldom give straight answers. The reasons are perhaps that I do not hold myself up as an expert on parenting or simply that my thoughts regarding this are so simple that even if I share them, no one will take them seriously. Thus, I decided that the best way to articulate my ideas is to write about them. However, if I were to sum up my thoughts about the answer to this question, I would list three of my best 'discoveries' which I think are merely simple principles.
1. The best way to parent a child is to love your spouse above all things...and make SURE they are aware that you do.
2. Never pay attention to negative behavior. This is easier said than done because our tendency is to hurry and finish whatever task we need to complete WHILE the children are behaving. Thus, we lose a myriad of opportunities to 'catch them being good'. It takes imagination, creativity, effort and a sharp focus to pay MEANINGFUL attention to good behavior.
3. Speak with a kindly toned voice. I found that speaking in hushed tones with firmness and with eyes focused into their eyes and therefore, the spirits of your children is the most effective way to provide them with what I call "parameters of safety".
