THE WORLD OF HIGH SCHOOL
Much has been written and parodied about universal characters who exist in the world of high school. I went to an unusual high school where each student was carefully selected by a wild process of screening exams to discover 140 students who can guess the right answers in math and science. My initial impression was that every single one of us were geeks and nerds. Not so fast. It isn't true. I am convinced that every high school has the requisite stereotypes in place.
It's amazing though how the social hiercharchy is not limited to high school alone. High school is actually a microcosm of the world outside---the world of "grown-ups". Because the truth is, those stereotypes can continue to exist well beyond the fences of any high school.
What stereotype did I belong to? I don't really know. Drama queen perhaps? Or perennial doormat/sidekick.
So here's my take on what happens to high school stereotypes well over....no, years after high school.
Male geeks eventually land that super degree that eventually finances that swanky home in that swanky gated community. Maybe he'll even wear a trophy wife. Female geeks not just get that swanky house but also begin to look like a million dollars. And both geeks get their garbage picked up by....
The high school jock. Yeah. The one every girl wanted in high school. He still follows high school sports and acts like he can still throw a ball across the court. Except he looks like he swallowed the basketball as he struts along, beer can in hand and hair receding. He constantly searches for that lost limelight and can't seem to find it. He gripes constantly about how everything sucks. He can't understand how he found himself in this unlikely predicament because he always assumed his good looks and charm would land him the big one.
The prom queen-diva queen bee who used to keep a secret list of conquests---some real and some imagined---yeah, her. She's the one girls followed around and idolized wishing they could be her best friend. And she's the one every boy fawned over. Her life is full of "what-ifs" and constant longing. She didn't marry that dreamboy who had the pedigree, cash and social standing she always hoped she could land. She still hangs on to her crown and sceptre and is comfortable only where she is the shiniest. And she eats a lot of sour grapes---never really finding joy because she can only find comfort in a world where she is the center of it. Unfortunately, as time passes, her world becomes smaller and smaller. The biggest rub of all is confronting the fact that the gawky and unsophisticated girls who were her inferior grew up to become beautiful, successful women and she can't get past the sorry fact that her beauty is way past prime and didn't get her any of what she thinks she is entitled to.
The high school sweethearts are no longer.... and each continue to find meaning in their various relationships and eventually discovering love isn't always a high---it's actually waking up everyday deciding to be committed and forgiving.
That guy you swore was gay---well, he suddenly appears in your reunions and he's smokin' hot as hell. He's got a washboard stomach and biceps that seem to burst under his tight, rolled up sleeves. He looks like a stud. He eats only organic food and shops at Whole Foods Market. He is the picture of health. He is an entrepreneur. And he's got a life-partner.
How about that invisible guy who always loved the girl of his dreams from afar? He finally grew tall just in time to get his degree from Yale, pursue that girl and marry her. They have smart children, beautiful grandchildren and they still hold hands. He still can't believe she married him. And they still laugh when they're alone together.
And that bully. Yeah. That scary leader of the pack who relentlessly teased the little guys who didn't get their growth spurts until senior year? He's a born-again Christian who volunteers at the youth center, married a nurturer, and has a fantastic relationship with his sons and daughters.
Okay, so I'm making this up. But maybe I'm not.
The truth is, I do meet and know a few who still live their high school characters. Some still act like bullies. Some still want to live the glory days of their high school days when they were the jocks. Yet others who were never jocks want to be jocks and live their lives with the phony notion that they can still act stupid and hormonal. They're the ones who yell at their kids' coaches and some even take their testosterone-filled attitudes and whack the other little kids in the opposing team. You've read about them. There's plenty of them out there. I used to watch them at every little league game. Or every high school basketball game.
Then there are the ones who learn to survive and get past these labels. They're the ones who come out of high school smart. They live smart. They keep on evolving. They are not afraid to mix with people who know more, have more and accomplish more. They like to be elevated, enhanced and pulled up the ladder of success be it in terms of career, family life or spiritual growth. They keep on looking upwards and onward. They can experience joy vicariously through other people's successes and triumphs. And they are always ready to pull you up when you're down without judgment or recrimination. I hope I am numbered among these great bunch of people.
It's amazing though how the social hiercharchy is not limited to high school alone. High school is actually a microcosm of the world outside---the world of "grown-ups". Because the truth is, those stereotypes can continue to exist well beyond the fences of any high school.
What stereotype did I belong to? I don't really know. Drama queen perhaps? Or perennial doormat/sidekick.
So here's my take on what happens to high school stereotypes well over....no, years after high school.
Male geeks eventually land that super degree that eventually finances that swanky home in that swanky gated community. Maybe he'll even wear a trophy wife. Female geeks not just get that swanky house but also begin to look like a million dollars. And both geeks get their garbage picked up by....
The high school jock. Yeah. The one every girl wanted in high school. He still follows high school sports and acts like he can still throw a ball across the court. Except he looks like he swallowed the basketball as he struts along, beer can in hand and hair receding. He constantly searches for that lost limelight and can't seem to find it. He gripes constantly about how everything sucks. He can't understand how he found himself in this unlikely predicament because he always assumed his good looks and charm would land him the big one.
The prom queen-diva queen bee who used to keep a secret list of conquests---some real and some imagined---yeah, her. She's the one girls followed around and idolized wishing they could be her best friend. And she's the one every boy fawned over. Her life is full of "what-ifs" and constant longing. She didn't marry that dreamboy who had the pedigree, cash and social standing she always hoped she could land. She still hangs on to her crown and sceptre and is comfortable only where she is the shiniest. And she eats a lot of sour grapes---never really finding joy because she can only find comfort in a world where she is the center of it. Unfortunately, as time passes, her world becomes smaller and smaller. The biggest rub of all is confronting the fact that the gawky and unsophisticated girls who were her inferior grew up to become beautiful, successful women and she can't get past the sorry fact that her beauty is way past prime and didn't get her any of what she thinks she is entitled to.
The high school sweethearts are no longer.... and each continue to find meaning in their various relationships and eventually discovering love isn't always a high---it's actually waking up everyday deciding to be committed and forgiving.
That guy you swore was gay---well, he suddenly appears in your reunions and he's smokin' hot as hell. He's got a washboard stomach and biceps that seem to burst under his tight, rolled up sleeves. He looks like a stud. He eats only organic food and shops at Whole Foods Market. He is the picture of health. He is an entrepreneur. And he's got a life-partner.
How about that invisible guy who always loved the girl of his dreams from afar? He finally grew tall just in time to get his degree from Yale, pursue that girl and marry her. They have smart children, beautiful grandchildren and they still hold hands. He still can't believe she married him. And they still laugh when they're alone together.
And that bully. Yeah. That scary leader of the pack who relentlessly teased the little guys who didn't get their growth spurts until senior year? He's a born-again Christian who volunteers at the youth center, married a nurturer, and has a fantastic relationship with his sons and daughters.
Okay, so I'm making this up. But maybe I'm not.
The truth is, I do meet and know a few who still live their high school characters. Some still act like bullies. Some still want to live the glory days of their high school days when they were the jocks. Yet others who were never jocks want to be jocks and live their lives with the phony notion that they can still act stupid and hormonal. They're the ones who yell at their kids' coaches and some even take their testosterone-filled attitudes and whack the other little kids in the opposing team. You've read about them. There's plenty of them out there. I used to watch them at every little league game. Or every high school basketball game.
Then there are the ones who learn to survive and get past these labels. They're the ones who come out of high school smart. They live smart. They keep on evolving. They are not afraid to mix with people who know more, have more and accomplish more. They like to be elevated, enhanced and pulled up the ladder of success be it in terms of career, family life or spiritual growth. They keep on looking upwards and onward. They can experience joy vicariously through other people's successes and triumphs. And they are always ready to pull you up when you're down without judgment or recrimination. I hope I am numbered among these great bunch of people.
