Bangkok Scenery

Last night, we took the kids out to dinner at Bangkok Orchid. We had the usual: Pad Thai, Pineapple-Shrimp Curry, Barbecued Chicken, Strawberry Chicken and Hot Spicy Soup. A bit too much indulgence. Especially on my part.

While we were waiting for the food, I was mesmerized by the scene across the table. A woman was yelling at her son who was probably around 5 or 6 years old. I heard a lot of "don't do that" and " stop it". At first, she was trying to speak softly but she was quite obviously irritated. Then she pulled a cellphone from her purse and proceeded to make a phonecall. This time, her son began to touch the cellphone as if to taunt her and in turn, she responded with "stop it!"

My kids could see that I was distracted by the unfolding scene and so I said to them: watch; that little boy's behavior is going to worsen.



I could see that the young boy was quite enjoying the attention and the more she responded, the more he made himself annoying but this time, he began to mimic her. Mother responded by increasing the volume of her voice until her pleas began to sound like exasperated yells. "You're really getting on my nerves" and "you're being such a bad boy!". Then she began to make the usual threats. "You're gonna get it" and "wait til we get home" and "I'll give you a spanking if you don't stop". And every time, the boy's behavior got worse until the mother decided to leave.



I've seen this scene a thousand times played out in the grocery stores, at the malls, restaurants, streets, in church....When some of my nephews were this particular age and younger, everybody in the family thought it was cute and funny every time they misbehaved. For example, it would not be unusual to see siblings yell at each other, hit each other or call each other names and everybody in the family would simply laugh and think their little antics were cute. Well, that may be so. But now that they're older and they STILL annoy each other and call each other names, it's no longer cute or funny. It's become a habit now and siblings don't know how to behave with each other anymore. It's as if they've learned the steps to a dance and can't seem to dance any other way----or as if someone had written them a script on how to behave with each other and now they can't improvise because they've memorized their part too efficiently and it would be too 'weird' or foreign to act any other way. Each child now has a part and they react to each other according to the only 'script' that they've known.



Parents often wonder how their children suddenly 'became a problem'. There is no 'suddenly' about it. Their behavior is a learned behavior. They've just gotten 'better' at it and they're no longer cute.



As the woman exited the restaurant, I suddenly felt a sadness, a melancholy. If she only knew that the solution were so simple. If she only knew that children love attention---good or bad---it doesn't matter. If she only knew that it is possible to ignore bad behavior and reward good behavior. And that the little things that seem insignificant can mean the difference: the 'please's' and 'thank you's'. The "mister's" and "ma'am"s. The "excuse me's" and "may I's"---that there are magic words that can build character. If she only knew that there are also words that will surely create havoc in its time: the "shut-up's", "you're so stupid", the "get me this" and "get out of here!". The "no, you can't's" and the "stop doing that's". There are words that build, reassure and provide safety. And there are words that destroy, devalue and decay the spirit. Politeness DOES count. So does gratitude. And above all, our examples can either foreshadow or give light.



I am now eating my red bean ice cream and we've had a wonderful time again. And as my children now grown, prepare to leave their homes one more time to attend college too far away from me, I am reminded again that that hole in my heart that healed itself all summer is about to burst wide open again. I am feeling very, very vulnerable. And introspective.



In the morning, or to be accurate, this morning, I paid dearly for indulging in Thai food. Tascha leaves in 36 hours. Tonight, my mind is racing.



I may need to swallow a pill to calm my oozing heart.

Of Cellphone and Crude Oil

OF CELLPHONES AND CRUDE OIL

Six years ago, I had the good fortune to travel to Singapore, Malaysia and the Philippines after over a decade long absence from Asia. One of the things that impressed me was ubiquitous usage of cellphones. Even the lowly flower lei merchants running from car to car in the busy, crowded and crawling traffic queues in the highways of Manila, had cellphones. I'd see them in their sweaty, dingy T-shirts and shorts, rubber slippers, wet kerchief knotted around their heads, sitting on the pavement speedy fingers skillfully texting. In Singapore and Manila, there are cellphone booths with flashing lights of many colors peddling every cellphone accessory known to mankind....and even wares that millions of Americans don't even know exist. And even if a portion of these accessories made it to America, the mark-up would be ridiculously exponential. I also discovered that in Asia, you can purchase a unlimited array of brands and styles of cellphone your heart and pocket can afford and then simply buy a 'simm card'---a chip that you insert in the cellphone to make it function. When your minutes are gone, you simply go to any of the kiosks that dot the city and purchase another. I was told that you can buy these cards anywhere----supermarkets, gas stations, malls, everywhere. Later, I learned that the same holds true in Europe. Maybe even in Africa. Hey, maybe even all over the world! Except in America.

Here in the US, you must sign up with the looming corporate telephone giants--Cingular, Verizon, Sprint.....before you can get cellphone service. They provide you with the cellphones and your choices are limited to their stock, which is unfortunately, very limited in styles and choices. And you pay...and man, do you pay for minutes. Texting can be very expensive. There are stories of teenagers racking up hundreds and hundreds of fees for texting. In Manila, the texting capital of the world, texting is the only way to go. It is affordable...even cheap. Everyone texts. All the time. And the fee is so very rock bottom. And this is why even the lowliest squatter-dwelling city people can afford a cellphone. In America, only the privileged few can text....or own a cellphone. The equivalent of a dirt poor, third world Manila street peddler who uses a cellphone to text his friend around the corner who sells cold water from an old cooler on wheels does not exist in America.

I often think about this. The stupidity of all. In America, cellphone technology is limited and controlled by various agencies and corporations who have stringent regulations. And these regulations ensure that the telephone giants, Verizon, Cingular, etc... make gazillions of dollars. What drives these regulations? MONEY. Of course. Let's have middle America pay through their noses so these big corporations and their CEOs can be billionaires and fund their lobbyists who can fund their politicians.

My biggest gripe right now is not cellphones anymore. It's fuel. And I'm not just talking about oil. Sure, we often ask ourselves, why do we have to be dependent on Middle East oil; those entities and nations who fund the terrorists who want to vaporize every American and for that matter, every non-Muslim? We are in denial. We want to believe that, say, Syria and Saudi Arabia are our 'friends'. Not. We used to be friends with Iran when they fought against Iraq. Now we are Irag's 'liberators'. Beirut used to be one of our favorite tourist destinations. Now we are bombing that beautiful city and further widening the gap between the Lebanese people and our people. And we all used to be 'friends'. It's a phenomenal joke. And it's all politics.The big picture that politics cannot see is that our 'politics' actually give birth to new generations of America-haters. It quickly becomes "cultural". Hatred for America now becomes ingrained in these people's psyche and culture and our only solution is to annihilate the generations being raised to hate us and hopefully, create new generations who, we hope, will love us. It's a joke.

Don't we have oil in North America? Many of us are not even aware that we have vast, VAST oil resources. So what's the problem? Money of course ...and the physical properties of crude oil. Middle East crude oil comes already in what is called "liquid gold" form. That cuts refinerary costs substantially. Most of our (Canada, Mexico....American continent....) oil don't come already in viscous liquid form. Most are 'solid'---large, humongous amounts of oil meshed with solids...quite like grainy mud. (see photo above...) And to separate the liquid gold crude oil from the sediments requires heavy processing which is very costly per barrel. Which makes Middle East oil 'cheap'. I don't profess to be an expert in the economics of the oil industry...or just simply economics for that matter, but it just seems so simple. Find a way to refine our oil resources. Damn the birds and bears of Alaska and just drill. Surely there's a way to drill for oil in places like Alaska and STILL preserve its beauty. Okay, so we've preserved that Alaskan bucolic scenery. But our sons, fathers, mothers, daughters are all fighting in the middle east. And dying.

Which brings me to my gripe; where are the electric cars? And why are hybrid cars so expensive? Electric cars died because they don't use up much gas. And oil companies don't like that. Hybrid cars still use gas to power them but if you are a city driver, you can cut your gas use substantially by using a hybrid car. But the cost is paralyzing for most of us. The biggest hindrance of all is simply this: information. Our powerful media can destroy the office of the president, his image, his intentions. Media can influence morality, culture, fashion---the way we think. But it doesn't have time to disperse valuable information about hybrid cars let alone the value of using our resources wisely and judiciously.

I could go on and on about this but I'm not going to. Besides, I have a mountain of laundry to "refine" and "repackage". But one thing is for sure, I'm eventually getting a hybrid car and let's see how militant I can be about cellphones next time I buy more crystals to add bling to it.

America In The Dark Ages Of Technology?

Last month, I opened my Nevada Power bill and sustained an injury. Yes, I am thinking about suing Nevada Power because as soon as I saw the amount of money that they wanted me to pay them, my blood pressure shot up, my heart began pounding and I nearly fell off my rocker. $620 clams for the month of July. And we still have the hot summer months of August and September to go. I keep my air-conditioner running 24/7. You have to if you want to survive the paralyzing summers of southern Nevada where 115 degrees Fahrenheit is just another day in the desert. I don't know how others do it. My house is a modest 3400 square feet in size. And most of my friends live in similar or even larger homes. Why am I the only one complaining. And why am I the only one nearly reaching militant indignation about this? Are we in some sort of social denial about what's going on? Nevada Power hikes its rates two or three times a year and no one does a thing about it. Everybody wants to discuss Bush's incompetence, the war in Iraq, the puzzle of Hillary Clinton or whether Tom Cruise really ate his baby's umbilical chord and placenta. But nobody seems to care about the farce of Nevada Power. Are we just a nation of doormats?

Here's an even bigger rub: Germany, Spain, and Finland---FINLAND(!) of all places---are going solar. Yep. They happen to be leading the world in the use of solar power to generate electricity. AND they use American technology and know-how to install these wondrous systems. Solar companies build their components in factories located in the Philippines and Spain but their main clientele remain countries in Europe and Asia.

Photovoltaic enery is gaining more and more popularity---but not here in America. Why not? Because it's so expensive. For a house like mine, it will most probably cost me between $45,000 to $65,000 to install a system. But once it's installed, I will no longer be dependent or beholden to Nevada Power. My meter can actually run backward. And I can sell my excess electricity to Nevada Power---should they need it----another reason why utilities won't want people to know about it. Again, it's the all powerful money grubbing corporations. What really galls me is the fact that we live in southern Nevada where the sun does shine. Germany uses more photovoltaic energy than we do. And how much sun do they get? And how about Finland? Come on. Just look at the photo above this blog---a house with solar cells on its roof. What a sight to behold! One I'd love to see on my roof.

If the state of Nevada were smart they would subsidize or at the very least, provide financial incentives for people who want to invest in this technology. Have we gone nuts? Where are the tree huggers? Where are the fur lovers who parade on the streets naked as the day they were born to protest the killing of cute, little minks? These people need to march in front of the state capitol building and demand that photovoltaic systems be installed in ALL public buildings including schools and even parks AND demand very encouraging incentives to homeowners who want to make the switch! It just angers me that we hear so much vitriolics against oil and gas prices, and energy consumption and waste and yet no one has even mentioned the possibility of photovoltaic energy.

We need to get out of the dark ages and get with it. First of all, more information has to be broadcasted about this technology. Secondly, we need to get smart and demand it. Third, we need to just DO IT.

Waiting For Lucy

My daughter snapped this photo before dinner today while we were talking about my son and daughter-in-law who are expecting their first child any time now. We were hoping that our first grandchild would be born this week but it's Sunday and nothing is happening ....yet. Catherine sounded ripe when I spoke with her yesterday...and tired. I feel for her and am excited for her. I just feel so much love for her! She is so PERFECT for my son. And she will make a fabulously sweet and loving mother. We are just sitting on our suitcases anxious to make the trip to Provo, Utah to welcome our new grandbaby. It WILL happen---we just need to be patient.

I've been thinking A LOT about what our grandchilden will call us. Kurt, I guess, will be called "grandpa". But for me, I am in such a quandary. I have to think very carefully about this. "Grandma" doesn't hold anything special for me simply because I did not call my grandmother 'grandma'. I called my maternal grandmother "inang'---pronounced 'ee-nahng" with the 'ng' sound I can only describe as saying the work "sing" with two syllables: seh and nggg. If you hold the 'ng' sound for a second or two, that would be about as close as you can get to the 'ng' sound. So, 'eee-nahnggg', accent on the 2nd syllable. I doubt my poor American grandchild can handle this and sound authentic since she will have absolutely NO one to model the correct pronunciation for her aside from me.



I called my paternal grandmother "lola" which is the correct term in Tagalog for 'grandmother'. But using the correct, authentic pronunciation, it would sound more like: loh-lah as opposed to the American way of saying it which would be "low-la"....accent on the first syllable. In that case, it would sound too much like "Lola" of Copacabana. And I do not want to be called that simply because living in America, my grandchildren will sound American and "Lola" simply will not sound nor "feel" the same....and I am not from Copacabana.

Someone suggested to me the names "nana' or "nanny". That doesn't sound good to me either. For one, I am NOT the nanny and secondly, I can picture me carrying my 1/4 Filipino grandchild---blonde and blue-eyed....and I WILL most probably look like her nanny rather then her grandmother! (Albeit a glamorous nanny.... but still a nanny.) I just cannot tolerate this misconception. I would just die. DIE!



But last night, I had an epiphany. I can invent any name I want and get away with it! They can just call me "Christie"---that would suit me just fine. Or "Tita" or "auntie" if I can dare it. Or any variation of my first and middle names: Chris, Tina, Eva, Eve, Lyn, Lini, Kiss-tee....an endless array of possibilities.



OR, how about a variation of "mother" in Tagalog? And I had a very good reaction to the name: 'ina' which means 'mother'. Though the correct pronunciation is "ee-NUH" with the accent on the 2nd syllable, I know my grandchildren will never be able to pronounce this authentically---plus considering the cadence and tone of the American accent, the Filipino pronunciation sounds very 'hard' and harsh. How would they say this in "American"? Ah---yes, "EE-nuh"---accent on the FIRST syllable. That, I can live with. And it sounds so sweet!



But then, I thought, I can also find a variation of "grandmother" that I can live with. How about 'Dam-mah'? (Ha!) Dan-ma. Danna? Donna? Hmmmm.....no. And here's a couple of names that I love: Momi or Mimi. Aha. I like these two.



I am trying to come up with an invention to bridge the gap between my Filipino-ness and being American. In due time, I will just be 'that great-great-grandmother from the Philippines'.....as the new generations of 'de Ramas' and 'Veloiras' emerge from a new race, in a new country. It only strengthens my reserve to continue writing my history to preserve and memorialize my heritage for the coming generations to come who, in all probability and in due time, will look less and less like me and more and more like Caucasians. I MUST keep ME 'alive' even long after my days on earth are past.



So, Ina, Momi or Mimi?



I guess I'll figure it out when I see Lucy for the first time. She'll tell. It will sound right when it happens.