Me and Hannah at Seminary Graduation

It was a pleasure watching the Seminary Graduation last Sunday. Hannah looked radiant and beautiful. All in all, it was a gorgeous Sunday.

I've been planning our London-Berlin trip for a while now and there's so much to do with so very little time. I am anxiously anticipating a great adventure. I can't wait to meet up with Jordan. I've missed hearing from him. I will sorely miss him when he goes to Washington DC to attend law school at George Washington University.

Leland started taking the Kaplan Law School Admission Test Review courses to get ready to take the test in the fall. I just have a feeling that he will do very well. Lee, Catherine and Lucy, and Tascha are arriving home on Saturday and I am beside myself with excitement. I just love my kids so much it hurts!

There's quite a few things happening around that I can't really write about. Needless to say, it's been very, VERY emotional around here with Hannah running the gamut of emotions about the end of her high school experience.

It's late again so I better run.

HUH?

I learned English as a young child but my first language is Tagalog. I went to a private Christian grade school were we were supposed to speak English at all times. There were monitors around the playground who listed the names of rule breakers. I remember rebelling against that rule because I was not comfortable speaking English all the time. So I did not talk very much at all to avoid being cited.

However, I did write in English very well. And spelling was a big deal. I was always good at spelling until my sixth grade teacher decided to teach the "arrogant" students a lesson and had us spell biological jargon like pteridophytes and phyllum---words that we were yet to learn. But once the test was over and we all bombed, I never misspelled those words again and I immediately went to the dictionary to find out the meanings of each strange word.

As a young child, my favorite book came in three volumes: the very red, hard bound copy of The Reader's Digest Encyclopaedic Dictionary. One volume had words, phrases and foreign phrases classified into various categories, like medical terms and latin phrases. Another had well-known quotes. I perused through every volume, eager to memorize and learn every word on every page. Everyday, I'd learn a new word and then tried to use it when I wrote my daily essays. I loved words and a well constructed sentence. I began to memorize favorite lines from stories and plays...even movies.

When I arrived in the US for the first time in 1975, barely 19 years old, I thought I could finally use my "dictionary" English. What a crock. Even some of my teachers couldn't spell to save their lives.

I don't profess to be a grammarian, but obvious grammatical and spelling errors bug the heck out of me. And though I know that they don't necessarily mean that the offender is lacking in intelligence, it does show some carelessness. There is a saying in Tagalog that states: Ang hindi marunong magmahal ng sarili wika, ay masahol pa sa malansang isda---roughly translates, he who does not love his own language is worse than a rancid fish. Communicating complex concepts require some measure of eloquence and the more adept we are at presenting concepts effectively using words, the better it will be for all of us.

Here's a short of list of what peeves me the most:

1. Your vs You're: I mean, come on! You're is a contraction of "you are" so if you are saying, You are breaking my heart, please don't write: your breaking my heart, because that is so, so wrong! It's just as annoying as writing, you're car awaits, sir. This is just sheer pedestrian writing. Ugh!

2. Lay vs Lie: Eee-eeuuuw. I hear this all the time. And although one can argue that it's simply local color which is true, it does grate on me like nails on a chalkboard when I hear, I'm going to lay down here on the couch. Yuck. I always tell my kids that you lay something down but you are supposed to lie down on something. Thus, the correct way is: I am going to lie down on this couch. Now hold on---remember the phrase: now I lay me down to sleep? Well, here we are laying something down which would be "me". Here's some good examples of "lay" usage: Lay down your burdens. Lay your head on my pillow. Lay that purse on this table. Get it? Here's some examples of correct usage of "lie": Lie down beside me. Lie down on this gurney. Here lies Winthrop Kaka. Get it? That's more like it.

3. Should have vs should of: Yikes. I see this all the time. It is NEVER should of and it is always should have. That should be easy. I mean, I should of done it? What the heck kind of sense does that sentence make? It's SHOULD HAVE. I should have done it. I should have spelled it right.

4. In lieu of of: EEEEK. Some people want to sound more hip and use this phrase but so wrong! This phrase literally means, in the PLACE of...from the French word, lieu which means...place! Bad usage: In lieu of the fact that it rained today, we will all wear raincoats. That's savage. Good usage: In lieu of flowers, please donate a million dollars to Mitt Romney's campaign. Yeah. Easy enough.

5. Wrong use of homonyms or words that sound almost the same: This is carelessness at its worse! Hear vs here. Except vs accept. Principal vs principle. (Gosh this just reeks!) Assure, ensure and insure. Compliment (which means..."to flatter or praise" if used as a verb and if used as a noun, it means a commendation or a felicitation.) vs complement...(which means "to complete, to round off, to harmonize, to match well".) Here's a good sentence example: When you compliment your wife, you might want to tell her that the color of her eyes complement her yellow jacket. Yeah. 'Nuff said.

6. It's vs its: People come on: it's is merely a contraction of "it is".

There's more on my list but for now, I'm going to stop lest I rile myself up and it's so early in the morning. Yeah, now I must quit while I'm ahead because then I might start writing about how texting has changed how we value good grammar and good writing skills. Bah humbug!

THE END OF THE DAY

A close high school friend is on her way back to Manila as I write. She is about to complete a very long trip to be with her father who is ailing and who has asked to pass on naturally without wires, tubes or further treatment to artificially prolong the inevitable. She is journeying to say her good-bye to her once vital and vibrant father. It is a somber journey.

Not long after she shared this with us, another chum informed us that his father is also awaiting the inevitable and has called all his children to a final roll call at his bedside. He is about to embark on the same journey and this time, north to Toronto. Not so long ago, he had been the lone dissenter among this siblings when they all voted to remove the tubes that kept their father alive. Minutes after his dissent, his father awakened to inform the doctors that he wasn't ready to go yet and so, there would be no voting that day. This time, weeks later, his father is ready and about to pass on on his own terms with all his children by his side.

The next day, another chum informed us that her beloved father just passed on and they are now on the long road to mend their broken hearts over this tremendous loss. The only fact that gives them comfort is that their father lived a vital life until his passing at 93 years of age. What a privilege!

They say "bad" things come in threes. This surely seems true right now. And it is jarring. All three chums are high school friends. There are about a hundred of us graduates of Philippine Science High School---all national science scholars who, in 1969, were hand picked to attend this great institution together. For four years, each of us waded through advanced math and science classes, each one endowed with the same directive: to keep their scholarship...and their government stipends coming. Three decades later, we hang on to each other, sharing each other's successes...and burdens. We are so privileged.

Hours after I learned about these incidents, our bishop tells us that one morning, just last week, he was checking his client appointment list and saw that he was scheduled to meet with a friend whom he hadn't seen in a while. He was of course, delighted that he would get to see him even if just to get some legal advise. When the time came, they shook hands and had a brief visit to catch up on things. And then he asked: how can I help you today? That's when the roof caved in---he informed him that he had been diagnosed with inoperatable brain tumor and wanted him to take care of his estate affairs. He only had a maximum of 12 months to live. He is only 48 years old and has a wife and three children. He was devastated over the prospect that he will have to leave them on their own.

In the same meeting, another faithful member who does not usually share his emotions, told us about a meeting with a 12 year old student. He described her as a "wonderful" student who was a joy to teach". He was also her track coach and had seen her grow and develop to be a capable athlete. She wanted to talk to him about a "problem". He was of course, happy to be of service. That's when he finds out that she has been diagnosed with terminal cancer and will not run again. She was given 6 months to live. It was a devastating afternoon for him.

The next day, I took another friend to lunch. Among other things, I asked him why her husband was absent from church. He happens to be the 2nd counselor to the bishop and serves with my husband who is the 1st counselor. She informs me that one of the doctors he works with had just been diagnosed with inoperable pancreatic cancer and was unable to work so her husband volunteered to fill in the slack. The sad thing is that he had just adopted two children and is devastated that he will have to leave them.

Though her diagnosis has not been declared grim, my step-sister just found out that she has malignant tumors in her liver. She is down to about 90 pounds and they are still trying to find a course of treatment. I am not feeling optimistic because my father had the same problem. He passed on three months after diagnosis.

Three weeks ago, my husband got a phone call from a client. She did not want legal help. She wanted him to come to the hospital where her brother-in-law lay dying and asked if he could give him a final blessing of release. My husband, of course, raced to the hospital to perform this act of service. He later passed on peacefully.

Death seems to be around us lately and I am suddenly feeling somber. Nothing seems to be as important now as just having another day to embrace life and all its gifts. I hope that I do not squander my time focusing on stupid things. I hope that I will hold on to what's true, that I will love better and that I will continue to learn, grow and have many opportunities to express myself.

It's now 4:00 in the morning and I better get to bed.