Top (l-r) Pedro and Dolores de Rama
Bottom: L-R My great-grandparents Francisca and Felix de Rama with my father,
Enrique on Felix's lap
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I fell asleep on the nice red leather couch yesterday after teaching 6am seminary and had a dream. It was one of those dreams where you were aware of and can hold on to what's real but strangely accept the inconsistencies and the bizarre that you see in a dream.
I was in a strangely familiar house full of mismatched old furniture. It was my paternal grandmother's though it existed only in the dream. I seem to recognize some of the furniture and believed that they once belonged to various members of the family. I called my grandmother "Lola' which is the Tagalog endearment for grandmother. Lola had covered most of the couches and chairs with old fabric of many muted colours dulled with age and it felt to me like they were dusty and musty though I knew in my dream that that was only my impression and so may or may not be true. I sat on a green and white striped cushion while I watched Lola mill about in the rooms.
The room I was in was long and there was a doorway that opened into what seemed like a parlour in the middle of the room. I proceeded to enter and saw Lola busy in front of an old sewing machine working on another project. I suddenly felt tender inside and wanted my Lola to feel my love. Somehow I also knew that my Lolo (Grandpa) was not with her. And strangely, I was aware that in a previous dream that I had of her, she was living in a smaller, darker and dank house. This was now an upgrade.
I tried to form a question in my mind that I wanted to ask her and as I attempted to ask that question, I suddenly woke up. The question was: What is the most important lesson that you learned in your life? I was still in between sleep and wakefulness and I screamed in my head: Go back! Go back! But it was futile. I was now wide awake.
I miss my Lola. And I was glad to see her.
