THE END OF THE DAYA close high school friend is on her way back to Manila as I write. She is about to complete a very long trip to be with her father who is ailing and who has asked to pass on naturally without wires, tubes or further treatment to artificially prolong the inevitable. She is journeying to say her good-bye to her once vital and vibrant father. It is a somber journey.
Not long after she shared this with us, another chum informed us that his father is also awaiting the inevitable and has called all his children to a final roll call at his bedside. He is about to embark on the same journey and this time, north to Toronto. Not so long ago, he had been the lone dissenter among this siblings when they all voted to remove the tubes that kept their father alive. Minutes after his dissent, his father awakened to inform the doctors that he wasn't ready to go yet and so, there would be no voting that day. This time, weeks later, his father is ready and about to pass on on his own terms with all his children by his side.
The next day, another chum informed us that her beloved father just passed on and they are now on the long road to mend their broken hearts over this tremendous loss. The only fact that gives them comfort is that their father lived a vital life until his passing at 93 years of age. What a privilege!
They say "bad" things come in threes. This surely seems true right now. And it is jarring. All three chums are high school friends. There are about a hundred of us graduates of Philippine Science High School---all national science scholars who, in 1969, were hand picked to attend this great institution together. For four years, each of us waded through advanced math and science classes, each one endowed with the same directive: to keep their scholarship...and their government stipends coming. Three decades later, we hang on to each other, sharing each other's successes...and burdens. We are so privileged.
Hours after I learned about these incidents, our bishop tells us that one morning, just last week, he was checking his client appointment list and saw that he was scheduled to meet with a friend whom he hadn't seen in a while. He was of course, delighted that he would get to see him even if just to get some legal advise. When the time came, they shook hands and had a brief visit to catch up on things. And then he asked: how can I help you today? That's when the roof caved in---he informed him that he had been diagnosed with inoperatable brain tumor and wanted him to take care of his estate affairs. He only had a maximum of 12 months to live. He is only 48 years old and has a wife and three children. He was devastated over the prospect that he will have to leave them on their own.
In the same meeting, another faithful member who does not usually share his emotions, told us about a meeting with a 12 year old student. He described her as a "wonderful" student who was a joy to teach". He was also her track coach and had seen her grow and develop to be a capable athlete. She wanted to talk to him about a "problem". He was of course, happy to be of service. That's when he finds out that she has been diagnosed with terminal cancer and will not run again. She was given 6 months to live. It was a devastating afternoon for him.
The next day, I took another friend to lunch. Among other things, I asked him why her husband was absent from church. He happens to be the 2nd counselor to the bishop and serves with my husband who is the 1st counselor. She informs me that one of the doctors he works with had just been diagnosed with inoperable pancreatic cancer and was unable to work so her husband volunteered to fill in the slack. The sad thing is that he had just adopted two children and is devastated that he will have to leave them.
Though her diagnosis has not been declared grim, my step-sister just found out that she has malignant tumors in her liver. She is down to about 90 pounds and they are still trying to find a course of treatment. I am not feeling optimistic because my father had the same problem. He passed on three months after diagnosis.
Three weeks ago, my husband got a phone call from a client. She did not want legal help. She wanted him to come to the hospital where her brother-in-law lay dying and asked if he could give him a final blessing of release. My husband, of course, raced to the hospital to perform this act of service. He later passed on peacefully.
Death seems to be around us lately and I am suddenly feeling somber. Nothing seems to be as important now as just having another day to embrace life and all its gifts. I hope that I do not squander my time focusing on stupid things. I hope that I will hold on to what's true, that I will love better and that I will continue to learn, grow and have many opportunities to express myself.
It's now 4:00 in the morning and I better get to bed.
Not long after she shared this with us, another chum informed us that his father is also awaiting the inevitable and has called all his children to a final roll call at his bedside. He is about to embark on the same journey and this time, north to Toronto. Not so long ago, he had been the lone dissenter among this siblings when they all voted to remove the tubes that kept their father alive. Minutes after his dissent, his father awakened to inform the doctors that he wasn't ready to go yet and so, there would be no voting that day. This time, weeks later, his father is ready and about to pass on on his own terms with all his children by his side.
The next day, another chum informed us that her beloved father just passed on and they are now on the long road to mend their broken hearts over this tremendous loss. The only fact that gives them comfort is that their father lived a vital life until his passing at 93 years of age. What a privilege!
They say "bad" things come in threes. This surely seems true right now. And it is jarring. All three chums are high school friends. There are about a hundred of us graduates of Philippine Science High School---all national science scholars who, in 1969, were hand picked to attend this great institution together. For four years, each of us waded through advanced math and science classes, each one endowed with the same directive: to keep their scholarship...and their government stipends coming. Three decades later, we hang on to each other, sharing each other's successes...and burdens. We are so privileged.
Hours after I learned about these incidents, our bishop tells us that one morning, just last week, he was checking his client appointment list and saw that he was scheduled to meet with a friend whom he hadn't seen in a while. He was of course, delighted that he would get to see him even if just to get some legal advise. When the time came, they shook hands and had a brief visit to catch up on things. And then he asked: how can I help you today? That's when the roof caved in---he informed him that he had been diagnosed with inoperatable brain tumor and wanted him to take care of his estate affairs. He only had a maximum of 12 months to live. He is only 48 years old and has a wife and three children. He was devastated over the prospect that he will have to leave them on their own.
In the same meeting, another faithful member who does not usually share his emotions, told us about a meeting with a 12 year old student. He described her as a "wonderful" student who was a joy to teach". He was also her track coach and had seen her grow and develop to be a capable athlete. She wanted to talk to him about a "problem". He was of course, happy to be of service. That's when he finds out that she has been diagnosed with terminal cancer and will not run again. She was given 6 months to live. It was a devastating afternoon for him.
The next day, I took another friend to lunch. Among other things, I asked him why her husband was absent from church. He happens to be the 2nd counselor to the bishop and serves with my husband who is the 1st counselor. She informs me that one of the doctors he works with had just been diagnosed with inoperable pancreatic cancer and was unable to work so her husband volunteered to fill in the slack. The sad thing is that he had just adopted two children and is devastated that he will have to leave them.
Though her diagnosis has not been declared grim, my step-sister just found out that she has malignant tumors in her liver. She is down to about 90 pounds and they are still trying to find a course of treatment. I am not feeling optimistic because my father had the same problem. He passed on three months after diagnosis.
Three weeks ago, my husband got a phone call from a client. She did not want legal help. She wanted him to come to the hospital where her brother-in-law lay dying and asked if he could give him a final blessing of release. My husband, of course, raced to the hospital to perform this act of service. He later passed on peacefully.
Death seems to be around us lately and I am suddenly feeling somber. Nothing seems to be as important now as just having another day to embrace life and all its gifts. I hope that I do not squander my time focusing on stupid things. I hope that I will hold on to what's true, that I will love better and that I will continue to learn, grow and have many opportunities to express myself.
It's now 4:00 in the morning and I better get to bed.
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