Faux, Party of Ten
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| Lucy, Tascha, Catherine, Leland, Jack, Hannah, Kurt, Christie, Jordan & Rose FAUX |
Our 8 day adventure in the island of Oahu has just ended and I woke up this morning a bit disoriented and perplexed that I am not smelling the ocean breeze outside the lanai that overlooks a beautiful panorama of mountains and ocean. I am back in the desert. Drat! But tonight, the temperature is tolerable (about 92°F) and the girls are in the pool with David Scow who just returned from the Philippines San Pablo LDS mission. His Tagalog is awesome and we are enjoying his visit. Needless to say Tascha and Hannah are absolutely GORGEOUS with their golden tanned glowy skin.
Leland and his family are going back to BYU tomorrow. And Hannah will take the early flight out as well. I am trying not to think about it and remain stoic. But my heart is definitely being squashed into a pulp.
I am so grateful that we can provide these opportunities for our children to enjoy the beauty of Hawaii and to see how marvelous the Polynesian culture is. We attended the Halealoa Ward near Ko'Olina where we stayed. Sacrament meeting was just phenomenal. We were greeted by wonderful people and we felt so welcome and wanted. The speakers were so spiritual and their messages so well-organized in thought and presentation. I was touched by one young man who apparently was leaving the ward and his expressions of appreciation and gratitude for his leaders and the support he feels from the ward. He was very tender. We were so happy we attended all the meetings. Sunday School was taught by a retired teacher and she was awesome. Her lesson was straight from the scriptures and she commanded attention. There was good participation from the class. Relief Society was even better. Five little girls came to sing and Lucy was one of them. It was so jarring to see Lucy--so very haole, among the beautiful little mixed Polynesian girls. With them, you can see how Lucy blends perfectly with their features even if she has light skin and green eyes. It was quite a revelation to me. She can pass for a little island girl quite easily.
The lesson given by the RS teacher was fabulous and the love I felt in the room was palpable. The only thought that came to me was--I need to move here as soon as possible. Last time we were here, we attended the Makakilo Ward and the feeling was the same.
I love that there is such a wonderful feeling of aloha in the islands. They don't require much to love. They just do it so freely. The thing that scares me is that every time I go back, I am hit with the realization that I'm so 'haole-fied' or westernized because I feel it. I feel the difference. I don't know how to explain it but I recognize this aloha spirit and how it was a part of me and now, over 20 years later, I can see that it has left me. I just want it back.
This is why every time I return to Nevada, I feel so sad. I mean, I can carry that feeling with me but it's so hard when the people that surround me do not have it. There are too many limitations and requirements to be loved. And there's too many fears and risks to consider---ie, "you can't love that person bec he's going to leave anyway..." or "I can't love my son's girlfriend because what if they don't make it?"....or "I can't love them too much because I'm leaving in a few weeks..... " Or...."I can't love him like a son because I already have a son....or "...like a mother because I already have a mother".... as if one mother is the limit. Or you can only treat someone as family if they are blood. Or whatevah. In the islands, there is no limit to the number of women who can love you as your mother would. Nor is there a limit to the number of children a mother can love. There are 'aunties' and 'uncles' and 'mamas' and 'papas' and 'cousins'. No limit. In the islands, they just love and it's most likely because you never know how much time you have. That's the point. Not the excuse. I love that my friends' children call me 'auntie'.
I am also beset by an overwhelming feeling of gratitude that the Lord has provided us with the means to have all this possible. I am so so paranoid about being ungrateful. I hope I will always remember that everything we have and enjoy is a gift.
In time, the house will be empty again and everything will be in place. My kitchen will sparkle and my floors will not be sticky. And I will be sitting on my couch longing for the laughter and squealings of my little keikis. And I will be longing for conversation with my super intelligent children.
But for now, I am going to the family room to watch a Korean movie with them. Perhaps even have a laugh or two.
Leland and his family are going back to BYU tomorrow. And Hannah will take the early flight out as well. I am trying not to think about it and remain stoic. But my heart is definitely being squashed into a pulp.
I am so grateful that we can provide these opportunities for our children to enjoy the beauty of Hawaii and to see how marvelous the Polynesian culture is. We attended the Halealoa Ward near Ko'Olina where we stayed. Sacrament meeting was just phenomenal. We were greeted by wonderful people and we felt so welcome and wanted. The speakers were so spiritual and their messages so well-organized in thought and presentation. I was touched by one young man who apparently was leaving the ward and his expressions of appreciation and gratitude for his leaders and the support he feels from the ward. He was very tender. We were so happy we attended all the meetings. Sunday School was taught by a retired teacher and she was awesome. Her lesson was straight from the scriptures and she commanded attention. There was good participation from the class. Relief Society was even better. Five little girls came to sing and Lucy was one of them. It was so jarring to see Lucy--so very haole, among the beautiful little mixed Polynesian girls. With them, you can see how Lucy blends perfectly with their features even if she has light skin and green eyes. It was quite a revelation to me. She can pass for a little island girl quite easily.
The lesson given by the RS teacher was fabulous and the love I felt in the room was palpable. The only thought that came to me was--I need to move here as soon as possible. Last time we were here, we attended the Makakilo Ward and the feeling was the same.
I love that there is such a wonderful feeling of aloha in the islands. They don't require much to love. They just do it so freely. The thing that scares me is that every time I go back, I am hit with the realization that I'm so 'haole-fied' or westernized because I feel it. I feel the difference. I don't know how to explain it but I recognize this aloha spirit and how it was a part of me and now, over 20 years later, I can see that it has left me. I just want it back.
This is why every time I return to Nevada, I feel so sad. I mean, I can carry that feeling with me but it's so hard when the people that surround me do not have it. There are too many limitations and requirements to be loved. And there's too many fears and risks to consider---ie, "you can't love that person bec he's going to leave anyway..." or "I can't love my son's girlfriend because what if they don't make it?"....or "I can't love them too much because I'm leaving in a few weeks..... " Or...."I can't love him like a son because I already have a son....or "...like a mother because I already have a mother".... as if one mother is the limit. Or you can only treat someone as family if they are blood. Or whatevah. In the islands, there is no limit to the number of women who can love you as your mother would. Nor is there a limit to the number of children a mother can love. There are 'aunties' and 'uncles' and 'mamas' and 'papas' and 'cousins'. No limit. In the islands, they just love and it's most likely because you never know how much time you have. That's the point. Not the excuse. I love that my friends' children call me 'auntie'.
I am also beset by an overwhelming feeling of gratitude that the Lord has provided us with the means to have all this possible. I am so so paranoid about being ungrateful. I hope I will always remember that everything we have and enjoy is a gift.
In time, the house will be empty again and everything will be in place. My kitchen will sparkle and my floors will not be sticky. And I will be sitting on my couch longing for the laughter and squealings of my little keikis. And I will be longing for conversation with my super intelligent children.
But for now, I am going to the family room to watch a Korean movie with them. Perhaps even have a laugh or two.
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