Just my opinion...Turkey Most Fowl!
This will have been the 28th Thanksgiving of my life as a married woman living in America. And thus, it will have been the 28th time that I've threatened to find another fowl or source of protein to take the place of turkey. And it will have been the 28th time that my family will pay no measure of attention to my idle threat.
Why does it have to be turkey? It is so tasteless and fowl in so many different dimensions...and yes, forgive the equally tasteless pun. For years now we've tried preparing the bird in various different ways. I've tried massaging it in fresh expensive European and even New Zealand butter and EVO. Even not so extra virgin olive oil. I've used sliced lemons, oranges, apples, tangerines and inserted them artfully under the bird's skin with various leaves of herbs and pine nuts. I've brined it overnight in every mixture known to mankind--- juniper berries, every colour of peppercorns, rock salt, Hawaiian salt, gourmet salt from Turkey, Vietnam and Morocco, and fragrant leaves, Coke, broth and even grass. Well, lemon grass. I've tried the dangerous method of frying it in 2 gallons of Wesson canola oil on a tripod with two dogs barking at the contraption as the oil boiled threateningly. I've slow-baked, moderately baked, oven-baked and turkey-broilered it. I've used frozen birds and hens. The other year I even bit the bullet and bought a fresh, organic free-range turkey from Whole Foods Store. I tried not to puke when I saw the sticker price. I just went into instant denial.
Still, in my opinion, turkey is the most uninteresting, mediocre and savourless meat. Why else would anyone eat it with cranberries? To add zip to turkey meat, you are required to have at least 5 side dishes to complement its unappetizing flavour. Mostly, the side dishes are either sweet or savory. Sweet potatoes with marshmallows on top, fruit salad swimming in whipped cream, cranberries in their various permutations, stuffing preferrably with apples, nuts, raisins or dried cranberries, green beans made palatable with heaps of sour cream, cheese and...gulp...crushed, crispy potato chips, corn drowning in butter and salt, or garlic mashed potatoes smashed with sour cream, butter, lots of salt and pepper or cream....hmm....maybe even topped with grated cheese. And the gravy. To make the gravy hearty, you have to boil all the turkey parts that you won't eat: the giblets. What the heck are giblets anyway? Well, giblets are a euphemism for the neck with the drooping skin, the gizzards, the heart, the liver. Yeah. The best parts of the turkey! Go figure.
Why do we insist on turkey when we can have goose or better yet, duck? How about a nice crown roast? I love lamb! Pork roast slow cooked in savory sauce? How about steak for Pete's sake? Squab? Beef tenderloin cooked medium rare to perfection for Thanksgiving? Never. Horrors! Those wonderful meat dishes are suddenly not sexy enough for the dinner table.
And why so? Tradition. We will forego the best meats for the meat we don't buy on purpose on other days.
I sometimes wonder about some traditions that we hold on to just because they're traditions. Do we sometimes hang on to ideas and notions just because we're so used to them? Are we sometimes afraid to accept new ways because they are not familiar and comfortable? Can we see new uses for old things and discover new things that will make our lives better?
There are some things we must hang on to. But indeed, we do need to hone our sights so that they are fresh and willing to see things in many different permutations. Traditions can be started and some can be passed on for many generations. Love, kindness, acceptance, ways of talking to each other that are loving and tender...these traditions should outlive every generation. Some traditions are fast becoming a thing of the past and should be revived. Letter-writing, long courtships, gallantry, lady-likeness, modesty, sweet flirtations. Long family dinners, breakfast together, slow Saturday mornings, good-bye kisses. Fountain pens, afternoon teas with friends, backdoor drop-ins. Evening walks, bicycle rides for two, wearing Easter hats to church, potato sack races. And please don't let this be a tradition: texting when you can call, emails when there's a chance you can write. That's very turkey.
So this Thanksgiving Day I am passing the baton to my daughters who want to take a gander (there I go again....) at cooking the feast. Yes, there will be turkey in the oven. And yes, there will be at least 5 side dishes to add some sexiness to the bland fowl. There will be the traditional rolling to the couch after the meal to nap. And the wishbone will be set aside for later and will be forgotten again this year. There will be more pies than we can eat. And turkey leftovers for a week.
And next year, I will threaten to use another fowl. It's tradition.
Why does it have to be turkey? It is so tasteless and fowl in so many different dimensions...and yes, forgive the equally tasteless pun. For years now we've tried preparing the bird in various different ways. I've tried massaging it in fresh expensive European and even New Zealand butter and EVO. Even not so extra virgin olive oil. I've used sliced lemons, oranges, apples, tangerines and inserted them artfully under the bird's skin with various leaves of herbs and pine nuts. I've brined it overnight in every mixture known to mankind--- juniper berries, every colour of peppercorns, rock salt, Hawaiian salt, gourmet salt from Turkey, Vietnam and Morocco, and fragrant leaves, Coke, broth and even grass. Well, lemon grass. I've tried the dangerous method of frying it in 2 gallons of Wesson canola oil on a tripod with two dogs barking at the contraption as the oil boiled threateningly. I've slow-baked, moderately baked, oven-baked and turkey-broilered it. I've used frozen birds and hens. The other year I even bit the bullet and bought a fresh, organic free-range turkey from Whole Foods Store. I tried not to puke when I saw the sticker price. I just went into instant denial.
Still, in my opinion, turkey is the most uninteresting, mediocre and savourless meat. Why else would anyone eat it with cranberries? To add zip to turkey meat, you are required to have at least 5 side dishes to complement its unappetizing flavour. Mostly, the side dishes are either sweet or savory. Sweet potatoes with marshmallows on top, fruit salad swimming in whipped cream, cranberries in their various permutations, stuffing preferrably with apples, nuts, raisins or dried cranberries, green beans made palatable with heaps of sour cream, cheese and...gulp...crushed, crispy potato chips, corn drowning in butter and salt, or garlic mashed potatoes smashed with sour cream, butter, lots of salt and pepper or cream....hmm....maybe even topped with grated cheese. And the gravy. To make the gravy hearty, you have to boil all the turkey parts that you won't eat: the giblets. What the heck are giblets anyway? Well, giblets are a euphemism for the neck with the drooping skin, the gizzards, the heart, the liver. Yeah. The best parts of the turkey! Go figure.
Why do we insist on turkey when we can have goose or better yet, duck? How about a nice crown roast? I love lamb! Pork roast slow cooked in savory sauce? How about steak for Pete's sake? Squab? Beef tenderloin cooked medium rare to perfection for Thanksgiving? Never. Horrors! Those wonderful meat dishes are suddenly not sexy enough for the dinner table.
And why so? Tradition. We will forego the best meats for the meat we don't buy on purpose on other days.
I sometimes wonder about some traditions that we hold on to just because they're traditions. Do we sometimes hang on to ideas and notions just because we're so used to them? Are we sometimes afraid to accept new ways because they are not familiar and comfortable? Can we see new uses for old things and discover new things that will make our lives better?
There are some things we must hang on to. But indeed, we do need to hone our sights so that they are fresh and willing to see things in many different permutations. Traditions can be started and some can be passed on for many generations. Love, kindness, acceptance, ways of talking to each other that are loving and tender...these traditions should outlive every generation. Some traditions are fast becoming a thing of the past and should be revived. Letter-writing, long courtships, gallantry, lady-likeness, modesty, sweet flirtations. Long family dinners, breakfast together, slow Saturday mornings, good-bye kisses. Fountain pens, afternoon teas with friends, backdoor drop-ins. Evening walks, bicycle rides for two, wearing Easter hats to church, potato sack races. And please don't let this be a tradition: texting when you can call, emails when there's a chance you can write. That's very turkey.
So this Thanksgiving Day I am passing the baton to my daughters who want to take a gander (there I go again....) at cooking the feast. Yes, there will be turkey in the oven. And yes, there will be at least 5 side dishes to add some sexiness to the bland fowl. There will be the traditional rolling to the couch after the meal to nap. And the wishbone will be set aside for later and will be forgotten again this year. There will be more pies than we can eat. And turkey leftovers for a week.
And next year, I will threaten to use another fowl. It's tradition.
2 comments:
Ha ha. I think the tradition sticks because there's something about the turkey that brings back hundreds of nostalgically comforting memories. You could count those memories as some more of the side dishes that add sexiness to the fowl.
I love turkey. Love it. But then I also love Easy Cheese. Right out of the can. So who am I to talk, right?
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