GLOOMY SAD DAYI was only too happy to substitute for the most beloved of seminary teachers one day last week. She was sick and I insisted that she stay home and that I will teach her class the next day.
The day came and I went into her classroom with much enthusiasm. After all, she had bragged that her class was a good one this year. It was 7am and the seats began to fill. There was the usual discomfort that comes when a class is presented with a strange teacher. I tried hard to bridge that by being upbeat. I asked a lot of questions to spark some thinking and involvement. In the end, I thought the class was a good one. I thought we all had a fabulous time.
The next day, Wednesday, was uneventful and that class got their teacher back. She had needed that free day to rest and everything went as usual. Or so I thought.
Thursday came and after my 6am class, I was confronted by this teacher who had a very concerned and troubled look on her face. She told me that her class told her that I had 'trashed' her and made some unflattering remarks about her to her class. She said that several of her students made the same observation. They told her that I had said things like: "Now I'll show give you a real lesson unlike what you get from your teacher" or something to that effect. I was mortified. Since she said that several students made that allegation, I was dumbfounded and began to search frantically in my brain to figure out what I could have said that could even remotely be spun to this dastardly level of arrogance on my part. I felt sick to my stomach. I began to doubt even what I thought happened. Perhaps I said those things. Perhaps I had some kind of black-out and said those things. I was insanely confused.
I reasoned with her that I could NOT have even remotely said those things because those thoughts never even occurred to me. I respected her far too much. She was the one I went to when I came upon challenges with teaching seminary. She was my adviser and friend. I was so confused.
She said she'd get to the bottom of it.
The next day, she called me to tell me that it was just ONE student who made those assertions in class when she came back. And the rest of the class played along with his lies. She became confused and stewed in those words of intrigue and hate to the point that she doubted me. That boy who started it had problems and his intention was to hurt her by using me. And some of the students, who still inhabit the world where everything revolved around them, colluded with him just because it was funny. After all, adults don't have feelings. They had managed to play a nice game where they hurt not just their teacher but also the substitute---me.
For some reason, this whole event really affected me. Still does. I don't really need this drama in my life right now and I hope that something is done and consequences are allowed to follow this dastardly, cowardly act. I know this boy comes from a very troubled and disfunctional family but he needs to apologize. Tomorrow, I am going to insist that he does.
This is not the reason that I want to quit seminary but it could well be the straw that will break the camel's back.
***********
Follow up to this story:
A couple of students talked to her and said none of those things happened and I never said those things. But then a couple of other students said that I implied those things. The boy in question insists that I had said outright things that 'trashed' the teacher and said he will not apologize. I am so confused.
But my focus is to teach and prepare my students to become missionaries, scripture savvy mothers and well-prepared teachers of the gospel. My goals for being a seminary teacher are:
1. To help students become familiar and comfortable with the 'language of the scriptures'. This means that I do make them get their scriptures, open them, read them and ask questions.
2. To help them acquire the skills needed to pick out doctrines and principles from the scriptures and make these relevant to their times.
3. To aid in helping them discover these truths for themselves by providing activities that will enable them to dig.
4. To bear testimony of Christ.
I just figured that if I do my job well and serve my students this way, I will just naturally develop love and caring for them. This I assume, takes time. And it doesn't happen until the middle of the school year or so before I really feel this way. But I KNOW it does happen. How can it not when you are serving? So I just trust that it will happen. And it does.
I've been contemplating quitting seminary for a while. LIke I said, all I need is an event like this to be the straw that will break the proverbial camel's back.
More update:
I don't really care anymore. I'll just do my job. There will always be students like this...but rarely. There are plenty more young people who are wonderful. I'll just focus on that.
The day came and I went into her classroom with much enthusiasm. After all, she had bragged that her class was a good one this year. It was 7am and the seats began to fill. There was the usual discomfort that comes when a class is presented with a strange teacher. I tried hard to bridge that by being upbeat. I asked a lot of questions to spark some thinking and involvement. In the end, I thought the class was a good one. I thought we all had a fabulous time.
The next day, Wednesday, was uneventful and that class got their teacher back. She had needed that free day to rest and everything went as usual. Or so I thought.
Thursday came and after my 6am class, I was confronted by this teacher who had a very concerned and troubled look on her face. She told me that her class told her that I had 'trashed' her and made some unflattering remarks about her to her class. She said that several of her students made the same observation. They told her that I had said things like: "Now I'll show give you a real lesson unlike what you get from your teacher" or something to that effect. I was mortified. Since she said that several students made that allegation, I was dumbfounded and began to search frantically in my brain to figure out what I could have said that could even remotely be spun to this dastardly level of arrogance on my part. I felt sick to my stomach. I began to doubt even what I thought happened. Perhaps I said those things. Perhaps I had some kind of black-out and said those things. I was insanely confused.
I reasoned with her that I could NOT have even remotely said those things because those thoughts never even occurred to me. I respected her far too much. She was the one I went to when I came upon challenges with teaching seminary. She was my adviser and friend. I was so confused.
She said she'd get to the bottom of it.
The next day, she called me to tell me that it was just ONE student who made those assertions in class when she came back. And the rest of the class played along with his lies. She became confused and stewed in those words of intrigue and hate to the point that she doubted me. That boy who started it had problems and his intention was to hurt her by using me. And some of the students, who still inhabit the world where everything revolved around them, colluded with him just because it was funny. After all, adults don't have feelings. They had managed to play a nice game where they hurt not just their teacher but also the substitute---me.
For some reason, this whole event really affected me. Still does. I don't really need this drama in my life right now and I hope that something is done and consequences are allowed to follow this dastardly, cowardly act. I know this boy comes from a very troubled and disfunctional family but he needs to apologize. Tomorrow, I am going to insist that he does.
This is not the reason that I want to quit seminary but it could well be the straw that will break the camel's back.
***********
Follow up to this story:
A couple of students talked to her and said none of those things happened and I never said those things. But then a couple of other students said that I implied those things. The boy in question insists that I had said outright things that 'trashed' the teacher and said he will not apologize. I am so confused.
But my focus is to teach and prepare my students to become missionaries, scripture savvy mothers and well-prepared teachers of the gospel. My goals for being a seminary teacher are:
1. To help students become familiar and comfortable with the 'language of the scriptures'. This means that I do make them get their scriptures, open them, read them and ask questions.
2. To help them acquire the skills needed to pick out doctrines and principles from the scriptures and make these relevant to their times.
3. To aid in helping them discover these truths for themselves by providing activities that will enable them to dig.
4. To bear testimony of Christ.
I just figured that if I do my job well and serve my students this way, I will just naturally develop love and caring for them. This I assume, takes time. And it doesn't happen until the middle of the school year or so before I really feel this way. But I KNOW it does happen. How can it not when you are serving? So I just trust that it will happen. And it does.
I've been contemplating quitting seminary for a while. LIke I said, all I need is an event like this to be the straw that will break the proverbial camel's back.
More update:
I don't really care anymore. I'll just do my job. There will always be students like this...but rarely. There are plenty more young people who are wonderful. I'll just focus on that.
4 comments:
This experience would have made me feel awful. I can never understand what makes someone want to hurt someone else without provocation. I hope you got the apology.
Sheesh, that is terrible. I'm surprised no one spoke up and said it was a lie at first. Are you and the other teacher going to get Strobie-1 involved? That kind of behavior stinks. I'm sorry that happened.
I called Strobie so we can talk about it. NO answer. I left a message so I am waiting on that. For now, I am going to the gym. Just finished synching my ipod. I can't get enough of Coldplay's Viva album.
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