COMPLACENCY AND A TOYOTA COROLLAI couldn't sleep very well last night. Again. It's 5 in the morning and I am getting ready to make the 6 hour drive to Provo, Utah to drop off our Toyota Corolla to our daughter who attends BYU and fly home on the late flight back. My husband will then bring home the Jeep wrangler that my son will no longer be using since he will be going to George Washington University Law School in DC in the fall. He will fly up to Provo on Friday to do that.
I have not taken a long solo drive since...around 1990. It will be interesting.
I did not learn to drive a car until I was around 30 years old. I just didn't have to. Growing up in Manila, we had a driver/chauffeur who took us to school every morning or drove us wherever we needed to be. Traffic in Manila is just terrible so I was only too happy to be chauffeured in a nice air-conditioned car in the sultry weather of the Philippines.
When I left the country to attend school in Hawaii, I still had no need to drive since I did not own a car and the campus was small enough for everyone to just walk around. So, 6 years later, I found myself alone with two toddlers and a handicap---I did not know how to drive let alone attempt to drive a manual transmission car...which was what we owned.
But I learned to drive and all of a sudden, I discovered a freedom that I had never before experienced. I could go anywhere I wanted, when I wanted to and take any route I wanted. That was joyous.
In the ensuing years, and four children later, my driving became limited to jaunts around the suburb doing what suburban moms do. Slowly, I avoided making long drives on the freeway. And then I decided I didn't want to drive anywhere outside my side of the city. And still later, I decided I didn't want to drive anywhere unfamiliar. Until I found myself not wanting to drive anywhere at all unless I can go on "auto-pilot" and not have to worry about finding directions. I had become complacent: a slave to my own limitations.
I wonder what I have missed out on as I imposed this exile on myself. And I began to ask myself questions about the quality of my choices. Am I a slave to familiarity? Is my comfort zone too narrow and limited? Did I lose my sense of adventure? My passion for new experiences? My zest for combat against the unknown? Do I stay within the 'givens' and not search for 'x' anymore? Is complacency my ball and chain?
So today, I am off on an adventure. I loaded my ipod with wonderful music, got a big bag of popcorn and powered my portable GPS. It's just a quick trip to another state.
When I get back on the late flight, I hope to feel more like my old self.
I have not taken a long solo drive since...around 1990. It will be interesting.
I did not learn to drive a car until I was around 30 years old. I just didn't have to. Growing up in Manila, we had a driver/chauffeur who took us to school every morning or drove us wherever we needed to be. Traffic in Manila is just terrible so I was only too happy to be chauffeured in a nice air-conditioned car in the sultry weather of the Philippines.
When I left the country to attend school in Hawaii, I still had no need to drive since I did not own a car and the campus was small enough for everyone to just walk around. So, 6 years later, I found myself alone with two toddlers and a handicap---I did not know how to drive let alone attempt to drive a manual transmission car...which was what we owned.
But I learned to drive and all of a sudden, I discovered a freedom that I had never before experienced. I could go anywhere I wanted, when I wanted to and take any route I wanted. That was joyous.
In the ensuing years, and four children later, my driving became limited to jaunts around the suburb doing what suburban moms do. Slowly, I avoided making long drives on the freeway. And then I decided I didn't want to drive anywhere outside my side of the city. And still later, I decided I didn't want to drive anywhere unfamiliar. Until I found myself not wanting to drive anywhere at all unless I can go on "auto-pilot" and not have to worry about finding directions. I had become complacent: a slave to my own limitations.
I wonder what I have missed out on as I imposed this exile on myself. And I began to ask myself questions about the quality of my choices. Am I a slave to familiarity? Is my comfort zone too narrow and limited? Did I lose my sense of adventure? My passion for new experiences? My zest for combat against the unknown? Do I stay within the 'givens' and not search for 'x' anymore? Is complacency my ball and chain?
So today, I am off on an adventure. I loaded my ipod with wonderful music, got a big bag of popcorn and powered my portable GPS. It's just a quick trip to another state.
When I get back on the late flight, I hope to feel more like my old self.
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