DRIVING SOLO ON I-15
I just arrived from Utah on the late flight out. I am exhausted.
The drive to Utah was fantastic although I still hate driving through the Strip even if it's on I-15. The traffic is usually just atrocious and drivers drive like they want to kill you. But this time, it felt different. It felt like all the crazy cars around me were my friends. Strange.
Tascha's little Toyota Corolla drove VERY well. I have to admit that after driving a Lexus for many years, I got very spoiled driving a precision car that has no rival when it comes to smoothness and comfort. But for a very affordable, no frills car, the Corolla and the Camry are worth more than their selling price---though still lacking the luxury and more importantly, the unbelievable smoothness and accuracy of drive. There's just no comparison even if Toyota makes Lexus. I experimented and got as fast as 95mph without the car going into convulsions. Relatively and surprisingly smooth for a low-end car. I was glad. I had plenty of time to think and evaluate how my life is going...and then make some goals.
I left the house at around 8:15am and arrived in Provo around 1:45pm or 2:45 Utah time. I made VERY good time. I stopped for gas and a bath break in Cedar City and then drove all the way. I could have gone straight through on just a full tank of gas! That was unbelievable. It's a great car for students. I did find myself getting a bit hypnotized by the road especially during loooong stretches when the road was simply straight. But I had the best music on my ipod blasting away and I sang to the music. It felt so good to be alone and immerse myself in thought and to enjoy the scenery. At times, the sights were bleak and lonesome. But at times, after engaging in a wide turn, a beautiful vista appears right before your very eyes and it's simply magnificent to soak it all in. I think a long roadtrip alone is cathartic.
When I got to Provo, I did have an ominous feeling. It felt dark and gloomy. I think it's because I really didn't have a very enriching experience while living there. It was a difficult time while raising two little sons. It was a time of adjustment even though while I was at that spot in time, I didn't think I was "adjusting". I thought I was simply trying to fit in---to become what I perceived to be what a wife and mother should be. And those perceptions were totally tainted by the culture of BYU and the stifling expectations of the LDS culture there. It truly is a vacuum like no other place because one can never really satisfy the universal imposed expectations unless you build a wall around you that hides and eventually erases your true essence. I should have known better but I was too blinded by my desire to fit in. Now, in retrospect, I can see clearly how the experience of living in Provo destroyed many parts of me that made me unique and vital. But thankfully, I've opened my eyes long ago and decided that I love myself too much to erase what makes me, me. So I was able to raise confident children who know themselves and more importantly, like themselves so that they can be enriched and contribute to the culture of BYU rather than get drowned in those parts that can eat them alive.
Tascha was only too happy to be reunited with her nice car. She had been driving the Jeep Wrangler that Jordan (who is in England right now....click here for a link to see what he is doing...) was using and Hannah wants to have it for the summer. So Kurt will fly to SLC tomorrow morning and then drive the Wrangler home. It looked very nice even if it needs some minor works here and there. Hannah will look cool in it and she's excited.
I took the late flight out from Salt Lake City back to Las Vegas. I was anxious to get home and feel safe. My home is such a haven---a castle full of things that I love. I like the environment that I've created and now I feel like improving it even more so that it feels uplifting, bright and inviting. So I have crafted a few projects. I'm excited to start.
The drive to Utah was fantastic although I still hate driving through the Strip even if it's on I-15. The traffic is usually just atrocious and drivers drive like they want to kill you. But this time, it felt different. It felt like all the crazy cars around me were my friends. Strange.
Tascha's little Toyota Corolla drove VERY well. I have to admit that after driving a Lexus for many years, I got very spoiled driving a precision car that has no rival when it comes to smoothness and comfort. But for a very affordable, no frills car, the Corolla and the Camry are worth more than their selling price---though still lacking the luxury and more importantly, the unbelievable smoothness and accuracy of drive. There's just no comparison even if Toyota makes Lexus. I experimented and got as fast as 95mph without the car going into convulsions. Relatively and surprisingly smooth for a low-end car. I was glad. I had plenty of time to think and evaluate how my life is going...and then make some goals.
I left the house at around 8:15am and arrived in Provo around 1:45pm or 2:45 Utah time. I made VERY good time. I stopped for gas and a bath break in Cedar City and then drove all the way. I could have gone straight through on just a full tank of gas! That was unbelievable. It's a great car for students. I did find myself getting a bit hypnotized by the road especially during loooong stretches when the road was simply straight. But I had the best music on my ipod blasting away and I sang to the music. It felt so good to be alone and immerse myself in thought and to enjoy the scenery. At times, the sights were bleak and lonesome. But at times, after engaging in a wide turn, a beautiful vista appears right before your very eyes and it's simply magnificent to soak it all in. I think a long roadtrip alone is cathartic.
When I got to Provo, I did have an ominous feeling. It felt dark and gloomy. I think it's because I really didn't have a very enriching experience while living there. It was a difficult time while raising two little sons. It was a time of adjustment even though while I was at that spot in time, I didn't think I was "adjusting". I thought I was simply trying to fit in---to become what I perceived to be what a wife and mother should be. And those perceptions were totally tainted by the culture of BYU and the stifling expectations of the LDS culture there. It truly is a vacuum like no other place because one can never really satisfy the universal imposed expectations unless you build a wall around you that hides and eventually erases your true essence. I should have known better but I was too blinded by my desire to fit in. Now, in retrospect, I can see clearly how the experience of living in Provo destroyed many parts of me that made me unique and vital. But thankfully, I've opened my eyes long ago and decided that I love myself too much to erase what makes me, me. So I was able to raise confident children who know themselves and more importantly, like themselves so that they can be enriched and contribute to the culture of BYU rather than get drowned in those parts that can eat them alive.
Tascha was only too happy to be reunited with her nice car. She had been driving the Jeep Wrangler that Jordan (who is in England right now....click here for a link to see what he is doing...) was using and Hannah wants to have it for the summer. So Kurt will fly to SLC tomorrow morning and then drive the Wrangler home. It looked very nice even if it needs some minor works here and there. Hannah will look cool in it and she's excited.
I took the late flight out from Salt Lake City back to Las Vegas. I was anxious to get home and feel safe. My home is such a haven---a castle full of things that I love. I like the environment that I've created and now I feel like improving it even more so that it feels uplifting, bright and inviting. So I have crafted a few projects. I'm excited to start.
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