When we betray the gospel we are supposed to live

I know first hand of a family whose judgments are so harsh and unilateral. When their daughter made choices that were totally against their expectations, members of the family reacted with much contention. Some wrote her letters declaring her 'evil' and stupid. Others reacted with such reproach: accusing her of being a bad mother, a bad daughter, a bad person. Others took much delight in talking about her behind her back--receiving great pleasure and feeling more righteous and superior as they discussed the 'perplexity' of her choices and actions. They loved to discuss how 'damaged' her son would be without the benefit of the gospel that they purport to live daily. They abandoned her. They distanced themselves from her. Because she is not 'living the gospel' anymore. Some even told their children not to have anything to do with her family lest they be influenced by the way they live their lives.

At first I distanced myself from this family not wanting to be involved because of the bitterness, contention and foolish manipulations and one-uppers. I myself had been the target of these murmurings, backstabbing and self-centered manipulations. 

But one day, my thoughts began to focus on her. I loved her. Always did. Long ago, when she began to distance herself from me because of the manipulations of her family, my heart just broke into a million pieces. She was like my little sister---the one I always wanted to spoil. And suddenly, she didn't like me anymore. After many years, this time, I thought about her....for many days.

I decided to make an exception and try and open up to the possibility that perhaps she may still love me since most of her family had distanced themselves and she to them.  I hope that she and her family will feel of our love because what we feel for her and her son is deep and sweet. 

When we treat each other harshly because they are different from what we expect them to be, we betray the very essence of the gospel we purport to live. Christ, in Gethsemane, went below all things. He understands the Ethiopian girl born 4,000 years ago who was sold to a husband before she was 12. He understands the Polynesian boy who was raised to be a girl during the times of Kamehameha. The Saviour can see the point of view of those who feel disenfranchised, those who feel expelled from their families or villages, those who were born in places I do not even know existed from eons of time ago, those who live on the other side of the world and those who will yet be born into a world of the future that I cannot even imagine. He knows all of us. And still he loves us. In Gethsemane, he carried on his mortal body and regal stature being the Son of God ALL of our sins, all of our sorrows, all of our weaknesses, all of pain. And then he drank the bitter cup. And died for our sins---later to rent the palls of death for our sakes. He did all that because of love. That is His gospel. That he died. And lived. 

We betray the very gospel that he himself taught us. Note these words that the Saviour declares:

Behold I have given unto you my gospel, and this is the gospel which I have given unto you—that I came into the world to do the will of my Father, because my Father sent me. (3Nephi 17:13....)

And then the Saviour goes on to say, from the 27th verse:

And know ye that ye shall be judges of this people, according to the judgment which I shall give unto you, which shall be just. Therefore, what manner of men ought ye to be? Verily I say unto you, even as I am.

The bold and underlined words declare how we are to 'judge' one another: even as the Lord judges us, so shall we judge one another. That is, we must treat each other with love just as the Saviour feels for us. Because with whatever judgment we mete out towards others, the same will be meted out to us. That is a sobering thought. 

We seem to be so harsh towards those who are among us-- those who are our family, those who are within our wards, those who are like us, members of the true church. It would seem as though we are mandated to be kind to others outside of our faith because we need to bring them into our fold. BUT, within our own families and fellow saints we exact so much more judgement and recrimination. When someone decides to think too deeply or ask questions or choose to do things differently, we are so quick to render judgment AND harsh reactions. We tend to be more angry, more distant, more aggressively mean. Is this how we are to bring the 1 sheep who strayed back to the proverbial fold? If we throw rocks at the missing sheep, it will surely never come back to the fold. And moreover, the consequences of our harshness and meanness slingshot back to us. We miss out on beautiful, sweet experiences of expressions of unconditional love. We miss out on the opportunity to love freely without borders, conditions, requirements or demands. As it is, all have missed out on building loving relationships with a member of their family whom they love and who loves them. To say that they have retreated because it 'pains' them to see their loved one live so differently from their expectations is ludicrous at best. Because if they see with loving eyes, they will discover that their loved one is still the same person. Oh how Satan deceives us! Sanctimoniously dire reactions  only give birth to further distance and further darkness. We betray the gospel we think we know. We are mere hypocrites: blinded by the severity of our recrimination and bitterness.

In taking this stance, we betray the gospel. We betray the powers of the atonement. And we crucify Christ anew. And all I can say is that this reaction is merely proof of how little we truly know about the Atonement and what happened in the garden of Gethsemane. As long as our hearts are full of pride and harshness, we cannot see the face of the Master. I record these words to remind myself how easy it is to betray the gospel we must live...to warn myself from time to time. Because it scares me to think how easy we can all be led to such bitter waters when we are thirsty and our reserves are gone. Hence it is from the Master himself that we can draw everlasting sweet waters from whence we shall never thirst-- given to us as we take advantage of the fruits of the Atonement through humility and repentance. 

But whosoever drinketh of the water that I shall give him shall never thirst; but the water that I shall give him shall be in him a well of water springing up into everlasting life. (John 4:14)