The Greatest Gift

I get to have dinner with some donors and potential donors for Brigham Young University tonight. It's so bizarre to think that I get to be one of the few who get to sit down and dine with a university president and a dozen other people who are movers and shakers. There are lawyers, real estate developers, a judge magistrate, a private consultant....men and women who have built substantial careers and have made a name for themselves. It's been an interesting journey. I've known many of them at least for nearly 15 years or more. I've seen some of their struggles and challenges and how they've coped or overcome them. Some have had reversals of fortune and have had to build again. Some have had family or physical challenges. But there is a common constant among them---they've all stayed close to the church despite seeming difficulties. 

We've been on both sides of the fence of having and not having. Nevermind that I came from a "third world country" and know what it's like to---live without electricity or water. Kurt and I married when we were college students and had two small toddlers when we started law school. I've lined up for surplus cheese and received help from the WIC program: receiving free milk, bread...some basic items for free---a potentially humiliating prospect but I got over it. I learned to sew, shopped at second-hand stores, clipped coupons, baby-sat to get a few extra bucks. Yeah, I know what it's like to live from paycheck to paycheck. Or not have one. And I know what it's like to start a business without any capital....to stretch that hamburger for another meal. I can safely say that having is better. Much, much better.

Some people assert that money is evil. I can't really buy into that mode of thinking. It is simply fear and a lack of faith that makes one think that way. Assigning an object a measure of morality is insane. Money can't make men greedy. Money can't make us haughty or proud. Money can't push us to do evil. It's people---it's us! The responsibility lies with us---not an inanimate object.

At times we judge people harshly because they happen to achieve some measure of success financially. We'd like to think that perhaps they didn't deserve their 'luck'. Perhaps we'd like to think that they're really miserable people underneath all that success. We'd like to think that they're the type of people who seek riches and not God or lack spiritual direction. Sometimes, we'd like to focus on their imperfections, their families, their other failures. We like to think that people divorce because they have money---not realizing that those who have financial difficulties also get divorces or have problems with their teenagers. We like to criticize their children, their own achievements, failures or difficulties, then blame having money for their ills. Or, we criticize their parenting skills; basing their skills or lack thereof on how much they give to their children or how much they withhold. Moreover, we'd like to think that they've somehow 'changed' and we can't be their friends anymore. Or worse, we secretly wish they will just eventually fail so that God can teach them a lesson or two--not realizing that failures do not necessarily reflect evil or misdeeds but rather, just parts of life's journeys. The rain falls on both evil and good men and many times, what we deem as 'failures' may actually have enormous blessings behind them. Judging others thus becomes such a useless and counter-productive exercise that makes us either bitter or proud.

Then there are times when we judge people harshly because they seem to lack financially. We'd like to think that their lot is due to their laziness, lack of vision or confidence. Some even think that God is punishing them for whatever misdeed or evil that they committed not thinking that many wealthy people may have done the same evil and reap the appropriate consequences in ways that we perhaps don't see. We'd like to equate having wealth or the lack of it with goodness or evil. Neither schools of thought can offer peace nor understanding for others.

My opinion is that having or not having has nothing to do with good nor evil. It's again, us....people, who make choices, not wealth itself or the lack of it thereof. Evil men will still be evil with or without money. Unhappy people will still be unhappy wherever they are on that proverbial ladder of life. Guilt, bitterness, anger or cynicism can all exist in whatever station of life we are in and having money or lacking it don't necessarily aid in their cultivation or eviction.

All things come from a greater and higher power. And just as quickly as blessings are given, they can also be taken away. I know the power of the widow's mite. There will always be someone wealthier, prettier or more talented. And conversely, there will also be someone less wealthy, less attractive or whose talents are not as shiny. The challenge is to love one another no matter where we are in life---up, down, comfortable or challenged; to see the good in all of us; to support and comfort each other; to feel each other's pain or joy; to find each other's strengths; just to love. It is the greatest of all gifts. It is what we all need to achieve. It is the great equalizer.